In The Shadows

It's the whisper you aren't sure you heard in the quiet, steady undertone of one note, your solo. The one only we can hear, so low, like a moan. Words run parallel, filled with the dreams of the heart and visions of  love, life and beauty.  And me, playing for you a sweet melody divine. Sweet melody that is mine. Whisper in quiet undertones of one soft kiss. 

You know we will never be the same.

Here

In The Shadows

It's in the shadows, whispering, eloquent

Rasping shallow devout
Murky tender won
Harder than quarry stone
Relinquish illusion's elusive control
Deftly defiant
Worn and confused
I was thinking of you too
Battered by time
Lives redefined
So little left
I've fallen way behind

Her faith is in exploration
Expressions of self - found
Growing into the power of herself
A woman become
Tears filling her eyes
Tender in love defined by compassion
Feeling what he cannot feel himself - lonely
Alone in his darkened room - the room in his mind
How can she close the door
Walk away once more?
Freedom is a prison filled with doubt
She's leaving him behind - misgiving

Alone Separate Together
It's all the same
It's all jumbled up
Parts compounded

Here in the shadows, whispering, eloquent, rasping, shallow, divine.

Agreed

I couldn’t love you until I learned to love myself.

We agreed to this morass. We entered into the glom blinded, conflicted, convoluted, confused. We agreed to this stance with an eagle’s eye view to the long game believing we could go the distance, hold the tensions of separation, use the codependency platform to ensure a quagmire of challenges, to incubate change, clear karma once and for all Lifes that came before. Breaking hearts, mostly our own, to get the job done.

I agreed to be shackled
I agreed to be blinded
I agreed to the challenges inherent in life in this gravity of Time and Space
I agreed to marry him
I agreed to these lessons
I agreed to be misunderstood by you
I agreed to be misjudged
I agreed to separation within separation

I have no regrets. Just because I have no regrets doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t broken open, a seething wound of healing, an open sore pulsating with all the eons of lies and misconfigurations, a steaming pile of shit-stench rising, clearing, cleansing, releasing. This is the lesser known underside of LoveMoreThanLove. This is the Love grown out of the compost of the transmuted transmuted. This is where the raw, roiling organic energies wriggle and writhe in Becoming. Where the decay and the miracle meet. Where WhatOnceWas becomes the prima materia of NOW where all the components meet, buzz, thrum into a Life co-mingled with the Sun Energy Divinity. Pay attention to the observation that is Love, Love Undone to Become Your Love, My Love, Our Love, the Love unified in a Field we dreamed of millennia ago and longer ago than that.

You are your own Light
You are your own Dream
You are your own Configuration
You are your own Wisdom

We are not lost to one another. We are not gone from the Heart of Who We Are, have always been. It just seems that way from this vantage point, this fractal, this turn, this spin, this momentary trajectory in Time. We are not victims of Time, this construct we agreed to be blinded by for a Purpose, a Mission, a Reason greater than our personality selfs can see or know until we rise from the stinking pile of shit that is the human condition confined by the parameters of codependency and Mothyrdom.

Now

I honor you in the Love of the Oneness that we are
I honor you in the respect of the One that we are
I honor you in the trajectory of your personal quest to transcend your individual karma in this Time and Space
I honor you in your sorrow, sadness, blindedness
I hold you ever strong, ever wise, ever brave in the Golden Liquid Light that is our Eternal connection to the Love that we are One of
I hold you so tender in the Highest Vibration of Golden Violet White Light Pinkened by the undulating, cavorting rhythms of Love in Love, Love of Love, Love surrounded by Love Love is Love (English words taken over by LightCode where words are too slow, too narrow, to restricted.)

Reconnective Healing Is...

The Reconnection

Into the Swirl

Trees.

There are always trees.

Trees 

rising and descending valiantly in both directions, 

seen and unseen,into the light and into the dark, 

burrowing heroically into the atmospheres 

of earth below and sky above, 

naked, vulnerable, exposed, 

beautiful 

in revelation 

and nuance, 

divine lines

holding fast, 

shuddering in the

 cold January winds, 

poised against the blue of the sky

to defy the ever present desperation of miseries 

both defined and denied, known and unknown.

Then I remember that there are trees.

There are always trees.

More On Surrender....

It turns me inside out and sparks of light splinter in shards outward from the within of me, shoot upwards into a showering array of refracted light exploding into Power accelerating exponentially in relation to the EnergyEmotion I feel and thus generate. And the visual of the Surrender and Acceptance is played out in a distant Energy plane, dark, starlit, unreal. And there is she and me face to face 20 paces apart. The image of form melts into the humming light of energy, gold and silver and white and orange and red and green and yellow and purple and blue, all into One. The flow spirals and swirls in musical rhythm of all notes, all sounds, no sound; and I understand DivinityInfinity, time less space, eternity divided by choices made individually and together for the greatest earth experience. All the light is all the power is gratitude for the roles we play and why we play them, with the hope of understanding in the midst of it all, hope to not remain blinded by inevitable pain incurred in the necessity of the lessons to be learned. To be courage; to reach more deeply for truths both profound and insightful; to expand beyond all previous configurations of Soul and Spirit, personalities refined by will and conviction and intuitions...

Into The Swirl

by Heather Maclean  2002

Into the Swirl

Spinning in Time

Creating Emotion

with Rhythm and Rhyme

You are woven

into the Fabric of my Heart

Threading a Trust through

Tattered Holes

Healing a Breach with

our Love and Friendship

Filling the Gap

Easing the Ache

Love and Friendship

Forever in our reach

Music encircles us

Echoing Laughter

Into the Air

Into the Swirl

Spinning in Time

Floating in Harmony

Connecting our Lives