Coming Out

I was just reading a coming out story of a fellow blogger and I realised that I've never written about coming out. Maybe this is because I am a late in life lesbian. Maybe this is because, somehow, I haven't thought my story would count. Even as I write this, I know it isn't true. Of course my story counts. Maybe it's because there is so much pain surrounding it.


I was married and my daughters were 11 and 14 when I fell in love with a woman. We worked together. We were friends. I knew she was a lesbian. She didn't hide it. Why would she? We had common interests. We started hanging out. We went hiking, took photographs, she played music and I wrote words that she turned into songs. Words and feelings..... It's so easy to see now....the progression of falling in love, but I certainly didn't see it then. I thought I was 'safe'. Being gay was not in my vocabulary. I was a devout Jehovah's Witness. Gay-dom never crossed my carefully orchestrated mental processes. It was strictly forbidden.


The Universe had other plans for me!


Coming out, for me, was more like being blown out! I disassociated myself from my lifelong religion and all my alleged friends stopped talking to me immediately. My family was decimated and my children were humiliated. It was me, afterall, that had taught them that being Gay was a choice and that it was wrong! Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Self-righteously I had judged others the way I was now being judged.


We are never alone even when we feel that we are. There are so many resources for us today especially with the internet. http://www.lavendervisions.com/ is one such source. Joanne Fleisher has written a very good book that I wish I had had when I first began to discover my true orientation called Living Two Lives. Part of the reason it was so difficult for me to come out was due to being married to a good man who truly loved me. As painful as it was for him, he supported me the best way that he could. Any transition is a challenge. It takes time and patience and kindness and insight and understanding, not just for yourself, but for all the people around you. I am happy to say that, now, the vast majority of my family love and support me for who I am.  Time, patience and love win out.