Love Comes And Goes

"Intensity has never really been a problem for me", she sings in all of her lesbian angst, her voice soaring above the ache of the lonliness she knows too well. She is compelled. She is never less. She is always more. She says she's still waiting, but she's moved on. It's just another song, afterall. It's just another way to get from there to here and beyond. And the music swirls around resoundingly because that's what her music does. People listen to her sing, feel her pain as she bangs on that guitar, her eyes closed oblivious to the naked adoration before her. Who wants adoration when all you really want, all you've ever really wanted is love? You might think you actually know her because her music touches you in some other place you might rather not have touched. Yet, you are compelled to listen one more time. So you stick the headphones in your ears and immerse yourself in the syncopation of the rhythms that she strums feeling her inside your mind, pulling you up from your toes, making you take notice of the other emotions, the ones with finer nuances and quieter messages. You wonder where she is tonight. You wonder, is she playing a gig in a crowd filled with women longing for connection, some with lovers, some with friends, some so lonely even though they're not alone. You wonder, when she closes her eyes tonight, will her own music bring her comfort and knowing and purpose.  The words she has penned this time, the words she will yet pen, sit at her feet where hope gives birth to the joy of falling in love once again.

But until then....

"Love comes and goes and comes and goes as easy as the moon and sun will rise and when I try to let you go all I can hear my heart saying is Please do not touch me cause I am not ready yet... please do not touch me cause I am not ready yet.... I'm getting oooooover you....I'm gettin over you...I'm still gettin over you....I'm gettin over you....I'm still gettin over you..."

Melissa Ferrick