It's all the same, isn't it? All the questions with no answers? Swirling emotions running ramped through my soul? And love? What forms it takes....Remembered, fond and open...Once growing, reaching new heights of sensations...Tickling and teasing, distracting. Mellowing and refined...Settling into routine, seldom peaking or peeking or piquing...Words, so interesting, never boring...But people can be. Why should that be? Each person is complex in their own way...But sometimes you just can't penetrate their reserves, the defenses...You can't make them open up...Should you have to? People are the way they are for a reason. Simple, really. Ponder. Wonder. Question. More. There is more; always. Reaching for it....Finding it...Losing it...Creating it....Refining it. What is there behind her eyes? What is there, concealed beneath his smile? Vague expressions cross one persons face. Intensity combined with fear paralyze another's. A student of expression and demeanor....Intrigued by the whys and wherefores of the inner workings of the human heart,mind, soul...To capture that essence...Just one of my quests....Focused and sincerely interested...But I must rest, mustn't I? But then there's music...The efforts of artists to capture a truth...Try again...Another song...Another painting...Another book....Another poem....They, too, are reaching, aren't they? And what about me? So helplessly drawn to the depths of the souls afraid to know...Be...Stay...Grow...Love...Keep...Waiting and wondering; come so close...Must there always be loss? It seems that way. What lessons am I not learning that continue to bring me to loss? Maybe it is a continual lesson...The one that marries loving to losing and the understanding that the losing part can not, will never, stop me from the loving part. And though I am so...Altered from what I likely would have been had all those things not happened to me in the first place...The raping of my body was nothing compared to the raping of my soul, my spirit...This heart beating inside my chest, literally and metaphorically, beats in separate rhythm to all that I know....For what I know differs from what I feel...Seldom the two do meet...Ha, ha, ha...In the middle...And how real is the middle, I wonder? Is it just another illusion with which I comfort myself? I don't want it to be an illusion or just a story...And yet I really know so little of the externals of the middle, never asking questions and letting it be whatever it is today...But the investment grows, this I cannot deny. Should I pull out? I don't think I can...For the love that is there is love in kind to the love I recognize within myself...Which means I will never pull out no matter what; expect to pulled out from, though, for this is what I am used to....How could I expect else? Love is love is love is love...Warm and honest and true. Love is love is love....Spent like precious gold for the benefit of the other person. Love is love is love...Given, open and more. Love is love is love...If never returned remains love in beauty and depth and sweetness. Love is love is love, offered with no expectation. Love is love is love is giving and living and breathing and becoming. Love is love is love....Is me ready for the inevitable good-bye lurking just around the corner. I'll never be able to get ready for it. I'll never be ready. Forgiving, forgiven...Forever...Because....Love is meant to be emitted, energizing, everlasting, ever kind...Being. Lessons learned, never taken for granted. Love is love is love is love is love.......