How can any one person be so beautifully bad for another? There is no wondering, really. There is no fault, no blame....the thing is just a thing, with no real meaning. It just is. Like a stormy, rainy day blows all the cobwebs away. Two lives collide in a vortex of power, hold on, wait for it to end. No rhymes, no reasons, no fate, no destiny....a circumstance, an accident to recover from. Life goes on. Where you search you search in vain, for what you are looking for does not exist. It's an illusion in your head, a fantasy created under a clouded Scorpio Moon, with moods shifting and swaying wildly from one side to another...anything to make yourself comfortable with an unbearable reality....one you created...one you cannot escape from. The same pattern repeats itself over and over and over again...you are stuck in the green gooey mire of the quicksand of fallen stars pulled out of the sky by all the lies you tell yourself....only someone willing to totally sacrifice themselves for you will ever meet your expectations because unhealthy begets unhealthy. This is one legacy....sad, forlorn, angry....yours. You can have it in all its messy chaos and dishevelment where true love cannot prosper. No one could ever know how hard it is to be you. No one could ever love you enough. Letting go and forgiving myself for being deceived by you and all your grandiose ideas and plans that never come to fruition because you just get in your own way. And I am lost in the ways of love and giving, floating in a smokey misty sea of gray waiting for another day to lift me up and out of the accident that was you. Be free to ponder your aloneness and the ensuing lethargy....lay the blame, always, at the door of someone other than you. Your gift, your art, your talent....lost, scattered.... I forgive myself for loving you more than I loved myself....